I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
