So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
