Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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