I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
