Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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