If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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