my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
