I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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