You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize