I want to make a zoo with you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
