So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
