So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
