I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
