I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
