So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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