are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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