So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
