so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
