so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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