she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
