East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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