I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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