Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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