shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
