he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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