birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
