I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize