How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize