And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
