ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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