I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
