whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
