He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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