Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
