I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
