Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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