he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
