it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
