I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
