You just made me feel so damn special
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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