for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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