He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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