Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize