Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he thought i was a dude.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Will exercising make me less horny?
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