but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
