"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize