If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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