didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
