Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize