If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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