Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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