He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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