I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
