Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
