he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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