i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
